I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Randomize
