so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
You've changed since you got that strap on
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize