If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
areolas are like halos for boobs.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
