Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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