Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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