no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
