Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
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