If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Never underestimate the power of titties
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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