dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize