You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Randomize
