You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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