Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
She needs sedatives and a leash
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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