We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Randomize
