my soul wont recognize me after tonight
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
