He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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