My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
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