she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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