I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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