ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
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Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
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