No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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