grandma shit on top of the toilet
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
so let's talk penis.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
Randomize
