you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize