were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Randomize
