she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Randomize
