Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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