all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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