dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
i came on her dog
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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