I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
