And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
