my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
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