Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
