Me too!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
Randomize
