Pregnant stripper...not hot.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Randomize
