I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
