You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
