at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
