Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
you inspire me to be a worse person
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I need moral support for this bender
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
