I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
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