I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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