it wasn't lemon gatorade
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
you made out with another girl for some wings
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Randomize
