I like my sex mixed with concussions.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
