I wanna bring you to show and tell
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
