maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Dicks are not precious.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
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