Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
