Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
