honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Randomize
