If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize