I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i now understand why vodka
Randomize
