well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Randomize