Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize