Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Randomize
