Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Randomize
