hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Bring me that man meat
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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