He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .