In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
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