how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
