And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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