This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
He? As in you personified your dick?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
